


Coach Hedge goes to Hogwarts

by DarthVadersInhaler



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Percy Jackson and the Olympians & Related Fandoms - All Media Types
Genre: F/M, I don't really know - Freeform, Maybe other people - Freeform, just go with it
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-29
Updated: 2016-08-07
Packaged: 2018-07-29 21:11:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,826
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7699780
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthVadersInhaler/pseuds/DarthVadersInhaler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>We all know satyrs such as Hedge go to schools to bring demigods to Camp Halfblood. Now he's on his next great adventure to one of the best magical schools- Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, to retrive our favorite Slytherin, Draco Malfoy. Who's his godly parent? How will the Coach's appearance change the original books? How badly will I screw up writing this? And how will Coach blend in...or completely fail in blending in, if we're going to be honest. (But hey, all the adults there are kind of crazy, so hopefully no one will notice!) All will be revealed. So put on your pointed hats, swing your leg over your broomstick, and join me on this adventure of furry goat behinds, magic sticks, and dark lords with no noses.<br/>Occurs after BoO and during Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince. Leo's not back with Calypso, and I can't say any more because of spoilers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coach Hedge goes to Hogwarts

**Author's Note:**

> Hi guys! Thank you so much if you're reading this! (which you obviously are, duh.) Cross your fingers I don't mess up! I know I am! So, before we begin, let me just say that this really the first time I've put my writing out there. I'm not saying I don't want bad feedback (well, I don't, but if you have bad feedback for me, I want it.), but you can't just say that this sucks or whatnot. I know it's kind of like writing hw, but this doesn't have to be some deep philosophical comment about how I don't/suck, but even just a few words like 'hey your characters are OOC bcuz Draco's even more of a twat than usual' would truly help me out A LOT! And now, without further ado, the story. *clap clap clap*  
> Trigger warning: Brief mention of rape. It doesn't describe it, or anything, and it's barely mentioned at all. Well, you'll see.

Coach Hedge  
Coach Hedge was sitting in Cabin 5 with Mellie, Chuck, Clarisse la Rue, and the Ares cabin. It had been two weeks since the Giant War, so of course, Hedge was ready to kick some more giant and monster butt. But he was a father now, so he doubted that any buttkickery would be happening soon for him, which was a shame. But he didn't regret anything. Seeing his wife holding a giggling Chuck whist the Ares campers cooed (they were strangely soft hearted when it came to baby kids, not that he could blame them. Chuck was adorable!), and Clarisse occasionally muttering 'Yeah, yeah, I get it', he couldn't think of any place he'd rather be. Besides, since he had a kid, he could teach Chuck all his fighting moves, and karate, and that if Chuck ever had girl problems, he'd be there...with his baseball bat. No matter how old he was, he was still to young. He couldn't wait!

The cabin's door opened, and someone walked in-what was his name?-Christopher, right? No, Chris. He'd been spending to much time with Mr. D. Chris nodded at him. "'Sup, Coach. Chiron wants you in the Big House." Gleeson groaned. "Is this for eating all of his cards when we were playing pinochle? Because I swear that was an accident!" "Was it an accident?" Clarisse asked. "Of course not! How do you 'accidentally' eat someone's hand?" Chris blinked. "I'm assuming you meant the-" "-Card type! Satyrs are vegetarians. Oh, well, I'd better get this over with." He cleared his throat, and looked somewhat awkwardly at Mellie. They still weren't used to having their relationship out in the open. Mellie looked just as unsure about what to do. Eventually, he cleared his throat again, and said, "I'll be back." Mellie smiled. "I'd hope so." There was a slight teasing tone beneath here words, and both Coach Hedge and Mellie blushed. Coach hesitated, like he was going to say something, then turned and trotted out towards the Big House.

Chiron was shuffling his new and uneaten deck of cards in human form when Gleeson walked in. "Ah, welcome, my dear satyr. Please, take a seat." Chiron gestured towards an empty chair. Gleeson sighed. The old horse was really going to drag this out, was he? "Alright, fine! I didn't eat your hand on accident. But, seriously, you always win! It's not fair! Besides, card are tasty." Chiron blinked. "With, all due respect, Gleeson, do you really think I'd call you to the war council of heroes just to reprimand you for eating my cards?" Now that he said it, it sounded a little stupid, but Gleeson couldn't just back down. He had a reputation to uphold! Chiron sighed through his nose, effectively interrupting Gleeson's brilliant comeback that would make Chiron question the meaning of his existence. "Shall we discuss the reason I brought you here, then?" Gleeson shrugged. "Shoot." He sat down at the table, and at a cupcake on the table whole. 

Suddenly, a bright light illuminated in the center of the room, and someone appeared, female and wearing a dress with a hood. She was emitting a slight glow. A hunter of Artemis, maybe? "I," she said, "Am the reason you are here." Her voice echoed creepily. Chiron bowed his head in acknowledgment. "Lady Hecate." Ah, Hecate. Wait, who's Hecate? Hecate turned to Gleeson. "I am, as you well know, the goddess of magic, witchcraft, gho-" "Oh, so that's who you are!" Gleeson said triumphantly. "Er, I mean, of course I knew!" Hecate scowled at him, but then seemed to decide it wasn't worth it, and dropped her gaze. 

"As I was saying, I am Hecate. Now, listen closely, satyr. You will be manipulating the Mist to bring a demigod to Camp Half-Blood. It sounds normal. But this time, it's not an ordinary school- it's the greatest magic school in the world-Hogwarts." Coach Hedge snorted, effectively interrupting Hecate's speech, as she glared at him. Hecate snapped her fingers, and Gleeson discovered he couldn't speak. "There. Quieter. Now, let me put this simply; you are a satyr." Gleeson would've snorted if he could. Glad she didn't forget. "Your job is to protect demigods, and bring them to camp." Gleeson winced slightly, but no one saw. "As all the other satyrs are busy protecting the Wild, you must go to a wizard school to bring a grandson of Nemesis who is also a wizard to camp. He is not the son of a god, so he was safe for longer in the mortal world, but he is growing to old. He must be taken to camp. But a war is coming in the wizarding world." Hecate saw Hedge perk up, and fought the urge to roll her eyes. "You will take no part in this war." Hedge slumped down in his seat, and started chewing on a fork. "I already created a prophecy for a boy named Harry Potter-but that's not the point. The point is this is a more dangerous protector job than normal. The war is caused by a tyrannical wizard named Voldemort-" 'What a horrible name,' Gleeson thought. 'His parents must've really hated him. No wonder he started a war.' 

His thoughts kept drifting as Hecate continued lecturing him on who-knows-what. 

"...and now, for the items. What? Gleeson blinked twice. Hecate scowled at him. "Were you listening at all?" He stared back, being unable to respond. Hecate sighed, and snapped her fingers. "Um, sure. Moldy Shorts. Started a war. Harry Potter has a prophecy. The end." Hecate scowled, but nodded her head grudgingly. "That's the basics. Just...try not to show off how little you know at Hogwarts." 

Hecate waved her hand, and a stick appeared in her hand, and a dress like hers in the other. Hecate gestured to her hand with the stick in it. "This is-" "A stick, yeah, I can see. Are your people really that old fashioned, because this would make a terrible weapon." "It's NOT a stick. It's a wand, it has magical properties, and it's what most wizards use for casting spells and enchantments. Granted, it won't be very important, seeing as you're going to be the Quidditch coach, but still." "Hogwarts, Quidditch..." Gleeson muttered. "Sounds like food." Hecate looked at Chiron, who was playing Solitaire. "Are you sure I can't take Grover instead?" Chiron shifted uncomfortably in his wheelchair. "We've already discussed this, my lady. Grover is the Lord of The Wild now. He's busy-" Hecate sighed. "Yes, yes, I know. It's a shame, though." She turned back to Hedge, who was now humming Imperial March from that one mortal movie-Star Trek? Star Wars? Oh, never mind. 

"Now, one more thing." Gleeson stopped humming, and looked up at her. "A real weapon?" Hecate was about 3 seconds away from turning Hedge into a Bludger, and hitting him with a bat, but she doubted even that would be enough to stop him from being so annoying, so she decided just to keep talking. "No. This." She gestured to the robes she held in her hand, and Hedge visibly paled. "T- _that? __That's a _dress!_ " Hecate smirked at Hedge's clear panic. "These, satyr, are robes. All wizards wear them, which you, will, of course, be posing to be. If you're going to manipulate them, you must wear this." If possible, Hedge turned even paler. "Don't you mean _female __wizards? Witches? This is a dress; I'm not wearing this!" Hecate glared. "Yes you will." She snapped her fingers, and the robes disappeared, and reappeared on Hedge. Hecate nodded in satisfaction. "There. It suits you." "It _suits me? __" Gleeson nearly squeaked. "It's a _dress! __I look ridiculous!" Gleeson tried to tug it off, but to no avail- it was stuck on him, like glue. Chiron's eyes sparkled in amusement. "Ah, yes," Hecate added. "Since you were so unenthusiastic about these robes, they are magically fitted on you-until I see fit they're not." "Are you saying I have to _sleep with this? __As if wearing it wasn't enough!" "Fine," Hecate relented. "Every night, when you go to sleep, it'll vanish- but each moment, it'll reappear, make no mistake." Gleeson pouted like a five year old-which was only more humorous due to the fact that he was a five foot tall 60 year old man wearing robes. "But can I get them off now? I don't want to be the laughing stalk of camp!" Hecate almost laughed. "I'm not that cruel. But, school starts tomorrow, say your goodbyes tonight, because that's all you have." Gleeson nodded, eager to spend his last night with his wife and kid. Wait-Chuck and Mellie. This was the first time he thought of them his whole time at the Big House, which made him feel guilty._____

 _ _ _ _ _"Mellie and Chuck." He looked at Chiron for support, and saw him shift uncomfortably in his wheelchair. "Listen, Gleeson-" "What about us?" A voice interrupted- a voice Gleeson would know anywhere. He turned around, and Mellie, holding Chuck in his arms in the doorway of the Big House. She was smiling, but there was a hint of uncertainty in it. "Sorry, I went to check up on you because it was taking so long." She turned, and bowed slightly to Hecate, "M'lady." Hecate nodded in acknowledgement. Gleeson sighed. "Listen, Mellie..." Mellie looked nervous, and bit her lip. "What's wrong?" "Hecate has given me an...assignment. I must go to her magic school, and bring a grandson of a god to camp." Mellie smiled. "That's it? Listen, my love. I understand your duties, and I'd never try to stop you. I won't lie, and say this'll be easy for me, but, hey, I've got Clarisse. And we can still IM." Gleeson winced. "That's not all..." "What is it?" Chuck started to cry, and she shushed him and patted his back. Hecate said it for him. "My school is on the brink of war, and it may occur while Gleeson is there."_____

 _ _ _ _ _

*** 

"No." That's the first word to leave Mellie's mouth when she hears. Gleeson bit his lower lip. "Listen, babe-" "No, okay? I mean, sure being a protector is normal, I expected that, but a _war? __That's ridiculous-we just finished with the Giant War!" She turned to Hecate. "Is there anyone, _anyone __else? Surely my husband-" "I'm afraid not," Hecate interrupted. "The war's not happening _now __. It will occur next year, as Phoebeus Apollo has deemed it such. Your husband is safe." Mellie looked relieved, but still unsure. "Are you sure?" "Apollo's riddles speak the truth, do they not?" "Of course." She turned to Gleeson. "Promise you'll be back by the end of the year. Promise." Gleeson smiled. "Of course. I swear it by the River Styx." Then they walked out, hand in hand.___

 _ _ _As they went, Chiron and Hecate watched them. "That never ends well, does it," Chiron muttered. "Nope," Hecate said. "Is there anything we can do?" "Nope."___

_____

**Author's Note:**

> And that's chapter 1! Honestly, I got lazy towards the end. I mean, c'mon, how long was that entire chapter of just Hecate explaining Gleeson's job?!? But I think I'm pleased with it. Comment, pretty please! The next chapter will have more action, I promise. Also, if you want a good, finished Harry Potter/Percy Jackson crossover, I suggest The Coming of Nico di Angelo. It's the best fanfiction I've ever read! I'll stop now, because I sound like I'm a freaking commercial, but seriously, check it out.  
> Fact of the Fandom of the Day:  
> Percy Jackson: On October 12, 2014, Rick Riordan tweeted @camphalfblood that Theyna-Thalia x Reyna- was '100 percent canon'.  
> Harry Potter: J.K. Rowling told fans that Dumbledore was gay, and loved Grindelwald. http://abcnews.go.com/Entertainment/story?id=3755544&page=1


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